1. I set my priorities straight.
Not that I’m saying those who are in a relationship don’t have priorities, I know a LOT of persons who are in a relationship but STILL ROCKS on every aspect of obligation and responsibilities in life, but I think what works for ME (just making clear that this is not for everyone), is to put last on my list, on when I would start dating or search for my to-be sweetheart. I still have to work on my career and dreams in life, I haven’t even started fulfilling my bucket list yet! I have plans for my family, and for myself. I have a lot to improve and to learn. About what? I don’t really know. But sometimes, when I think of it, I need to be ready. Prepared in a way that I know that I have already found myself, before I give it to another.
2. I am a contrasting Hopeless Romantic slash Old Lady
I am an old soul by heart, most of my relatives know that. A very conservative introvert, a shy-ish, sometimes moody girl from the city. I wear super long clothes and rarely wear revealing ones. I tend to stay in a lot, read books, and just eat, rarely going out. Finding a man for me is really hard. When a guy down the street winks at me, I scoff and roll my eyes. If he’s a hot guy, would I roll my eyes? I DON’T KNOW! If he’d be just a regular guy, I think I’ll just bow my head to pass. But sometimes, when its a near-ugly guy, I give them THE FINGER. LOL. But another part of me wants to approach them and wink back. I just simply can’t do it!! Sometimes, I think of all the novels I’ve read, I can’t help but imagine how I would meet my “the one”. But when I meet him, would I roll my eyes? Would I give him THE FINGER? Would I scoff at him? Or would I be able to finally have the courage to wink or to talk back and actually start a conversation that would lead us to the ringing bells at the church?
3. I am as scared as Fear in Inside Out
I’ve experienced falling in love. Butterflies in your stomach, that giddy feeling when you’re with him, the smile you can’t remove from your face. My days are always bright and never did a gloomy day pass. You always feel pretty, no, you always feel beautiful in his eyes. You don’t remember being sad, you just remember that you’re loved.
But I’ve also experienced being heartbroken. Your heart feels like stone. No, it feels like a balloon, wanting to get out of your chest and to fly away free. I’ve experienced sleepless nights, and nights where I just cry myself to sleep, hands in my mouth, making muffled sobs, making sure not to wake anyone up. I know how it feels to be love,everyone loves that feeling. But to be hurt again, and to be rejected, and to be left alone? I’m scared to go through that again.
4. I think Love seems overrated at times
I’ve read SOOOOO many articles about love, dating, relationships and other stuff, and maybe that’s why I’m writing about one too! Well, I’m writing about the absence of it in my life. What I fear is that, at times, I may not be truly in love. But, just taking too much of the IDEA, of being in love. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship, just for the sake to say that I’M IN a relationship.
5. Lastly, no guy has ever attempted to break down my walls.
I’ve had certain flings from time to time, and much to my dismay, no guy has the courage and bravery to pursue me despite all the walls I’ve built. No one ever dared to go with me through my dreams and goals, never wanting to be a part of my bucket list, not having the nerve to meet my family. To be a man enough to face my father, kind enough to talk to my mother, and friendly enough for my siblings. No guy ever attempted to pursue the old lady inside of me, no one was calm enough when I was having my moody times. No one gambled to make me happy or to make me smile again, to return those butterflies in my stomach, making sure I wont feel scared again. No man risked his heart to fix mine. I’m not saying that no one is good enough for me, just that, no one tried.
And that is why, my lovelies, that is why I choose to be single.